I USED TO BE THAT GIRL

I used to be the girl who doubted herself and her abilities. 

I used to be the girl who cared so much about other people's opinions of her. 

I used to be the girl who spoke rarely in class because she was afraid everyone would laugh at her. 

I used to be the girl who said yes to everything because she wanted everyone to like her.


I used to be the girl who would put on a fake smile and pretend everything was fine when it wasn't.
I used to be the girl who barged into other people's conversations to feel like she actually belonged to a group.
I used to be the girl who cried herself to sleep every night.
I used to be the girl who lived her life in a cycle. I used to be the girl who thought the pain would never end.


I used to be that girl.
Now, I am the girl who knows and loves who she is.
Now, I am the girl who only cares about what herself, her friends, her family, and God.
Now, I am the girl who can speak her mind and stand up for herself.
Now, I am the girl who can say no to people and can accept that not everybody will like her.
Now, I am the girl who can openly express her feelings and deal with her problems.
Now, I am the girl who ignores the thought of being left out and has fun on her own anyway.


Now, I am the girl who reminds herself of all the good things in her life before she goes to bed.
Now, I am the girl who strives to live life to the fullest.
Now, I am the girl who realizes that pain ends when she chooses to be happy.


I am that girl.
I am this girl.
I am the girl who will grow for herself and for the people that matter to her.
I am the girl who will let go of all her insecurities.
I am the girl who will build confidence in herself.
I am the girl who will fight for herself.
I am the girl who will stay true to herself.
I am the girl who will embrace independence.


I am the girl who will appreciate everything she has in her life.
I am the girl who will set goals and challenge herself to achieve them all.
I am the girl who will never give up.

I will be that girl.

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Written By Siti Khadijah Halil

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LOVE IS PATIENT

Love is patient and my love, you have always been patient with me. 

With an uncertainty of when we are able to see each other again, you are painstakingly and constantly waiting and hoping for the day I can be with you. 

Despite all these, your loyalty is unyielding ; your promises are trustworthy ; your love is tangible and is able to travel at the speed of light towards me. 

Your honesty and your patience is ever present and undeniable.
Love is kind.


And your fingers prioritize gentleness whenever they touch my hands. 

It felt as if you were so afraid to leave a scar on the frailty of my skin, on the frailty of my heart and so you move gracefully and gently with sufficient strength as you wrap your arms around me. 

You have always put me first.

You have always ensured my comfort. 

And, my love, your warmth already showers me with so much comfort.

Love does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud.
And, my love, you are humble in every way. 

You are easily satisfied with the things you hold. 

You are extremely accepting of who you are and where you are in life while your massive aspirations sit in your heart silently and carefully. 

Indeed, your eyes alone are able to exemplify humility and love for others.
Love does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking.


I have seen right before my eyes how you've given those coins which perhaps was all you have at that time to a beggar and how your voice felt so sincere when you told him to take care of himself right before he left. 

I felt that no matter what, or no matter who the person can be, you are always able to show compassion and you are able to honor them in all the little ways that you can. 

And, my love, you are so selfless.

Love is not easily angered.
You never allow the both of us to be angry at each other for more than a day. 

You have always been ready to apologize for your mistakes and you have always been ready to forgive whenever I make mistakes. 

And, my love, you are so considerate, understanding, and forgiving.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

I love how you always correct me when I'm at fault. 

I love how you will never condone my wrongdoings. 

And, my love, I believe this is the most essential part of all relationships to be able to correct each other without hesitation lovingly.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

I felt how willing you are to protect me despite the distance that separates us.

I felt how your trust is able to sail in ships and fly through planes.

I'm able to see how hopeful you are that we would be able to see each other soon and your perseverance to pursue me and to be with me is so evident that I do not doubt at all. 

My love, actions speak louder than words even if you will not tell me that you love me every day, I would still feel and see it.

Oh, and one last thing, I love you too. 

And yes is my answer to the question you have been asking.

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Written By Siti Khadijah Halil

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