AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GIRL WHO'S WEEPING FOR HIS PRESENCE

An open letter to the girl who's weeping for his presence :


No, stop thinking.
I understand. I understand how you feel every 3 am thinking he might come back.
How he treated you nice every time you think bad about yourself.


I understand that you're weeping because you miss him.
But no, don't do that.
Sorry for the sleepless night thinking about him.


I'm sorry for the wasted time not sleeping hoping he might come back.
I'm sorry for all the bad thoughts you think about yourself.
I'm sorry for guessing what have you done wrong where in fact you know yourself that you did everything.
I'm sorry for letting you feel that you aren't enough.


But girl, think about everything.
You are not alone.
You are not the only girl who's weeping.
You are not alone in this obstacle.
You are not alone facing this.
You are not alone in this circumstance.


I am with you.
I am here.
I am here because I am believing in you.
I am here because I know you can overcome this.


Please, just please.
Don't give up.
Because I ain't.


- ABM -
Written By Siti Khadijah Halil
No comments:

TO YOU WHO MAKE ME FEEL SAFE

To you who make me feel safe.


When I say,

"Safe"

It's more than how your arms keep me safe. 
It is how you assure me that things will turn out just right. 
It is how you protect me from my fears and accept my vulnerabilities.
It is when you tell me I'm stronger than I think I am. 


For the fact that you can take my worries away, makes me feel secured. 
Certainly, there is nothing more compelling than a man who looks after your safety more than his own. 


Yes, tight hugs and cuddles may soothe the anxieties I am feeling.
But I guess it's ephemeral.
I am now less afraid, knowing that you got my back all the time.


Thank you for guarding what you own, and own me forever.
What I am only scared of now is losing you.
For when I say,

"Safe"

It's because of you.


- EA -
Written By Siti Khadijah Halil
No comments:

EXCESSIVE WEIGHT GAIN

Berat aku naik mendadak..
Waktu aku buat buku pink ni, usia kandungan adalah 5 bulan..
Aku buat buku pink ni dulu pada bulan May 2017..
Kiranya janin pada waktu tu dalam usia 3 bulan..


Tapi, sekarang ni berat aku 70 kilogram..
Mak ai, berat gila..
Sampai 3 kali jumpa doktor dan kena dapatkan khidmat nasihat dari nurses..


Ya la, doktor pun gelak tengok berat aku yang naik punya mendadak..
Dlaam tempoh 9 bulan 10 hari mengandung ni, berat yang dibenarkan naik hanyalah sebanyak 1 kilo..
Kiranya dalam 500 gram sebulan sahaja..
Tapi aku..?
Innalillah..


Ya la, semua salah suami aku..
Dia bagi aku makan banyak..
Jadi, aku pun makan je la..
Dah dihulur kan..?


Bayangkanlah, sehaari aku makan nasi lemak sampai 6 bungkus..
Tu baru pagi..
Malam pun nasi lemak lagi..
Tak termasuk makanan-makanan sampingan yang lain..


Tapi, suami aku kata, badan aku akan kurus lepas bersalin..
Sebab memang pesen badan aku, kurus dan cenonet sejak kecil..
Jadi, memang waktu mengandung akan berbeza sikit..
Berat mungkin naik secara tiba-tiba..


Disebabkan berat badan aku naik, aku perlu minum air gula..
Sehari sebelum minum air gula tu, kena berpuasa..
Contohlah esok pagi kena minum air gula, malam sebelum tidur atau ebih specified pada jam 10 malam tu, perlu berpuasa..
HJust boleh minum air masak sahaja..


First trial aku minum air gula, failed..
Sebab aku termuntah sejurus selepas minum air gula tu..
Manis gila..
Walaupun sedap je rasa oren..
Tapi, aku bukan peminat makanan dan minuman yang manis-manis..


Jadi, dibatalkanlah OGTT pada first trial..
Lepas tu, nurse suruh datang 2 hari kemudian..
Aku minum slow-slow..
Waktu first time minum tu, aku gelojoh..
Sekali telan je..
Mau tak muntah..
Hahaha..


Second trial, aku berjaya minum..
Lepas je minum, aku terus minum air masak..
Bagi hilangkan sikit rasa manis dekat tekak.
Kalau tak, mau termuntah aku buat kedua kalinya..


Kena tunggu 2 jam selepas minum air gula..
Oh ya sebelum minum air gula, perlu ambil darah..
Darah aku ni segan beno nak keluar..
Keluar berbuih-buih..
Jadi, darah tak boleh nak ambil sebab dah tercemar..
Kalau bawa ke lab juga, darah akan cepat beku..
Suami aku cakap la..


Lepas tu, nurse tu panggil sister..
Sister cakap aku ni gebu sangat sampai urat pun tak nampak..
Kali ni, sister yang ambil sample darah..
Sister tu cucuk aku dekat atas telapak tangan..
Dia pakai jarum biru..
Besar sikit dari jarum biasa..


Suami aku kata,
"Kalau abang yang ambilkan darah Sayang, Abang ambil pakai jarum ungu atau pink.. Jarum besar punya"
Kuang hajo..
Hahahaha..


Sementara nak tunggu 2 jam selepas minum air gula tu, aku dan suami pun pergi jalan-jalan..
Sempat la pergi dan patah balik dari Alor Setar ke Kangar, Perlis..


Selepas 2 jam, aku pun kembali ke klinik..
Dan darah pun diambil..
Kali ni pun sama juga, darah segan nak keluar..
Boleh dikatakan 3 kali percubaan untuk mengambil sample darah selepas meminum air gula..


Nak buat macam mana..
Darah mahal..
Ekeke..


So, sekarang ni, aku kena buat carta gerak janin pulak..
Baby ni aktif sungguh..
Sampai susah aku nak tidur dibuatnya..
Nak berjalan pun dan berasa sakit-sakit dekat kawasan bawah perut dan pangkal peha..
Almaklumlah dah masuk 30 minggu..


"To be continued"
Written By Siti Khadijah Halil
No comments: